How to overcome disagreements with your other half about your child’s studying

I've noticed recently that some discussions in my Facebook group, Supportive Parents, Successful Students, have centred around what to do when you and your partner disagree on aspects of your children's studies. It's hard enough getting teens to stay on task at times, so when parents disagree on things like how much studying their child should be doing, or how they should do it, it can be very unhelpful and does not present a united front.

How to overcome disagreements with your other half about your child’s studying

There are four main steps you can take if you and your partner don't agree when it comes to your child's studying.

1. Maintain a stable, happy home

The most important thing is that your child is raised in a happy, stable environment. If arguments about their studies, or anything else is causing friction between you and your partner, it's not going to help them. You really need to work with your partner to create this environment for the sake of your children.

Regardless of your own relationship or differences of opinion, it's crucial to present a united front when it comes to setting boundaries and expectations. Your child will be looking to both of you for guidance, and if you can't be united, they won't know what is right. There's also the chance that they will try to play you off against each other! Although your child is at the age where they are seeking greater independence, you are still the parents and they'll look to you for advice. If you can agree to present a united front to your child, even if you still disagree behind the scenes, they are more likely to accept the advice you give and decisions you make, leading to fewer arguments and instability in your home.

If your relationships has broken down to such an extent that you can't find a way to create a stable and happy home, maybe it's time to go your separate ways.

3. Work out why you disagree

So, you've agreed to present a united front, but you still need to work out why you disagree. It's usually down to each parent having different values around parenting, education, socialising and so on. Discuss the root of this; where do your values differ, and why? Can you try to understand and respect each other's different values so that you can reconcile the two different approaches and find a compromise?

4. Seek external advice

If you're really struggling to strike a balance, perhaps you could seek advice from an expert – someone neutral. You could ask your child's school for help; how do they think your child is doing with their studies? Do they think they're doing enough? Alternatively, you could ask someone like me! I can help you all to move forward together on the same path. The Extraordinaries Club was founded because I saw how effective parents and students working together can really be. My role is to be the neutral input; I can use my knowledge and experience to suggest ideas to the whole family, helping to diffuse any tension – your role is to make sure you're doing everything right to help your child meet their full academic potential, whatever that looks like for them.

The Extraordinaries Club

The Extraordinaries Club is the culmination of everything I've ever learnt throughout my time in education – both at school and university, and as a teacher and academic coach. Ideal for students in Years 10, 11 and 12, joining The Extraordinaries Club will give them the best chance of embedding good study habits early on. The Extraordinaries Club brings together all of the knowledge, resources and strategies from my course, The Exam Success Formula, plus I am available to support your family throughout the duration of your membership. You can read more about what being a member of the club will bring here.

Are you ready to find out more?

Click here to find out more about The Extraordinaries Club and sign-up. If you have any questions, email me on lucy@lifemoreextraordinary.com and I'll be happy to help you make the right decision for your family.

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